


I Loved You... Always

by Semi_Weird_Shipper



Series: Weirdo's Transformers Stories [18]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Comfort/Angst, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Healing Sex, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Past Abuse, Recovery, Sad and Happy, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Super mega ultra angst fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 04:17:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20790515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_Weird_Shipper/pseuds/Semi_Weird_Shipper
Summary: Megatron has always secretly admired Starscream, but the only way he can hide his feelings is by treating him as badly as he does.





	I Loved You... Always

It was late, five hours after the mission failed, and this time, Megatron had been sure that Starscream- the one responsible for the mission's failure- had suffered more than just a few punches. Hook even ending up giving the Warlord a small warning, saying that they were short on medical supplies, and that he really should consider taking the time to save it. Megatron hadn't been completely rendered by the guilt, but he still wasn't a hundred percent satisfied either. It wasn't as if he loved hurting the mech he cherished most in life on a day by day basis.

Cherished? Was that even the right word? Megatron wondered as he walked through the underwater base, debating. His fists were still dented and covered in Starscream's energon. He hadn't found the will to wash it off in anger of the mentality of the situation. He has admired Starscream for so long now, eons. Ever since he met the seeker, he had fallen in love with every trait, every gift, every quirk and flaw the seeker possessed. His bright red body slim and perfect, his strong, glistening wings that took him miles beyond miles in the air, slicing through clouds faster than a knife, and his handsome face in which words could not describe the intensity of handsome it achieved. And Megatron loved it all.

He just didn't love how things had changed. Starscream became a malicious fool, trying to offline him and take over the throne. Megatron was beyond trying to figure out who's fault it was now. Starscream used to be loyal to a fault, but now he was just as foolish as he was determined to label himself off as the decepticon leader. And that was not tolerable. Megatron found his feelings for the seeker beginning to waver, and at the time when he had been completely confident-even almost ready to confess- Starscream started to betray him. Megatron tried to blame it on the war and his second in command's insignificance, especially for the throne, but he soon found himself becoming void of reasonable answers, and buried his feelings for the seeker deep inside his processor.

To this day Megatron still envied his second in command, Starscream. The beatings, rough language and threats helped to keep his admiration away. It helped to keep those forbidden feelings trapped down. His level of power was the key to keeping the seeker in his place and reminding himself exactly who he was.

As he walked down the hall, staring at the dark floor, Megatron heard something and looked up. Starscream was standing there, way down at the other end of the hall, body stiff in the dim lighting of the recharging base. His body was rigid, tense, buckled up almost. The seeker's left side and back could be seen, but not his face. His face was pointed at the ground from what Megatron could see, and it was odd. It was all odd.

"Starscream," Megatron's voice was authoritative and somewhat suspicious as he cocked his head at his second in command, "I thought Hook informed you to spend more time in the infirmary? Tired of staying there, hmm? Well then perhaps you shouldn't fail me so often."

Megatron had taken a couple steps forward, tilting his head. Starscream's helm lifted and his fists clenched at his side. He mumbled something. Megatron didn't hear it.

"What was that? Speak up. I can't understand you when you whimper," Megatron glared, his own body growing rather tense.

Starscream turned his body a little bit more to the opposite side of the wall, presenting more of his back than anything else. His helm was still lowered and his frame tense. He looked like a hanging zombicon. He didn't say anything else. Merely standing there.

Megatron was really getting worried. What was going on? He growled, "If this is some elaborate scheme of yours, I command you to-"

Then everything became a slow motion.

Megatron paused whenever Starscream lifted his arm and pointed his null-ray in his direction, his head still lowered. Megatron’s optics widened, and on instinct, his cannon lit up and he immediately rose his arm.

Starscream shot first, the fired missile flying straight towards the far side of the wall instead of Megatron's enormous bulk. Megatron fired merely a micro-second later, only just then noticing that it hadn't been Starscream's intention to shoot him in the first place.

His optics widened at the sight of Starscream turning around to face him, his spark chamber wide open and a cold, hard look on his face. Megatron screamed in fury, reaching out in a desperate hurry like he thought he could take the shot back.

The blast hit Starscream directly where he intended. In the spark chamber. He shouted in pain once and fell back to the cold, cruel floor in which had been his battle ground for millions of years now. He grunted, smoke pouring from his open chest.

Megatron, still yelling, ran as fast as he could to get to his seeker's side. Ungratefully falling to his knees beside the fallen form, Megatron reached down and picked up Starscream by the arms, dragging him half ways onto his lap. "Starscream? Starscream you fool! What did you do?!" he shouted in true fright and rage.

Megatron quickly looked down at Starscream's burning spark and immediately commed Hook as fast as he could before reaching down and holding the seeker's injured chest. No, no. This couldn't happen. No. He pleaded.

"What were you thinking!" Megatron cried in outrage.

Starscream couldn't speak. His body was heaving and shaking. Small gargles and broken, hitched ventilations were all he could manage in the absolute pain he must be feeling. His optics dimmed more and more by the second as he absently tried to clutch at Megatron’s servo on his chest.

Megatron’s own spark was pounding worse than it had ever before, and for once in his life, he was truly afraid as he realized what Starscream had just done-or rather-what he had just done. He vented quickly, trying to keep himself from having a mental breakdown as he looked down at the seeker's smoking chest and dimming optics.

"Don't you dare offline!" he roared, holding Starscream close against his chest, "You fool! You idiot! You-you..."

Megatron grasped his own face and sobbed once before sniffing and yelling, "Don't offline!"

Starscream's mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, but closed in a soft intake as his optics shut and his body relaxed.

Megatron shook. "Starscream? Starscream!" But it was too late.

The light of Starscream's optics, like his spark, slowly faded away into simple grey coloring, and his entire generating body calmly shut down. He went limp, his spark still smoking but less and less.

Megatron felt as if he had just been hit by a body sized asteroid. He jerked back and froze, shaking as he took it all in. Starscream was gone, offline, taken to suicide by his own gun. Megatron felt nothing else but panic, greif and guilt welling up in his spark as more and more realization began to cross his mind.

Besides his steaming chest, Starscream's body was a mess. He had dents and scrapes littered everywhere across his body, and his paint was faded. Obviously, Megatron thought, he was the one who had inflected such damage, and after years and years of trying to avoid what could have very well kept Starscream alive.

Lifting him up further in his arms, Megatron shakily vented out small sobs as he covered Starscream's optics and pressed his lips to his smooth cheek plate, still warm by his once living body, and whispered, "I'm sorry."

**Author's Note:**

> Would anyone like me to continue? Don't think there isn't a way Megatron can fix this.


End file.
